Am I finally a boy?
I remember looking into the mirror as my six year old self and trying to tie a tie like my brothers. I remember looking into the mirror at 12 years old... same day i realized that once a month I would be tortured and embarassed for the rest of my child bearing years and wishing to god that I could just grow a penis instead.
I remember looking into the mirror through glossy, tear soaked eyes and swearing at all things male... all things capable of making that definitive separation between sex and love with more of a feeling of jealousy than contempt.
And here I am. Between adventures, between boys, between worlds.
I feel nothing.
This must be what all those boys who seem to go on with their lives and not feel the need to stop the world for something they love...
... and then the feeling came back.
I spoke too soon. wishful thinking I guess.
damnit.
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