Bathurst Station.

Climbing the stairs to the bus platform at Bathurst station, there is always a sense of excitement. I don't know if it is the region, the hour or simply my state of mind, but I am sure that waiting for the bus wont be a bore.

I stand amidst the patient crowd. Most are trying to keep warm and keep their minds off the hour; texting, playing with their phones or reading books. A mother and her daughters sit on the red bench with samosas in hand. One of the girls seems to be holding hers for warmth rather than consumption. It is a cold night, it is late, everyone just seems to want to get home.

The doors to outside are blowing with the wind and I am starting to get concerned about my own body heat. I start hoping the bus will show up soon. I focus on my breathing and flexing and releasing my larger muscle groups. That's when I notice the man to the right of the doors. He is talking, not loud or too expressively, but he is talking. I follow his gaze to the left hand side of the doors to see a man leaning against the glass who is listening to his ipod. He is oblivious to the conversation.
My gaze pulls back to the newly dubbed "crazy man"(CM). He is still talking and my mind wanders around his past and present.

I blink and no longer have eyes, but a camera lens instead. I am focused on the negative space between CM's face and gestures... he blurrs as I zoom through the window glass to a new jester, a dancing man on the platform. He is a heavy character, alone in his world. People have moved away, or come inside to avoid his show. He reminds me of the charmin' bear from the toilet paper commercials. He is perfectly framed by the out of focus gestures of CM and I am thoroughly entertained.

I guess I do not notice my own smile... but he does and low and behold, the rule of the TTC prevails. Dancing bear stops and aims straight at me. I don't yet understand that I am about to become part of the entertainment.

Dancing bear comes inside, passing CM and the man with the Ipod. He stands directly in my line of vision. I pull at my headphones and disconnect out of courtesy. " You were dancing too". He is beaming." You saw me!". I reflect his beam and start to wonder if I have unknowingly become a 'CG'.
I was then privied to story about fire marshall kicking him out of his building because it was unsafe. I heard about how he will be able to get back in, because as sneaky as he is he put something in the fire-door near his apt.
He tells me how he will single handedly make the leafs win the cup if he stays where he is, so he really has to stay there. His eyes never leave mine.

He stops, just staring at me in disbelief. " you are listening to me, you are the first person to see me all day" he says. I nod, smiling too. " you know... you are as cute as a BUTTON!" he says. "You really are."...

I know my bus arrived minutes ago, I can see awkward 'normal people' considering trying to pull me away from the deranged character who is blocking my exit, but no one approaches.
" well, my bus is here, Good luck with your living situation... and the leafs". I laugh. " and be careful!"
All he does is smile at me.

" thank you" he said.
Thank you.

As I get to the bus the I pod man moves aside to let me get on first. " are you okay?" he asks.



I am better than okay. I just got to experience another beautiful stranger. Another human being, isolated in a city of 6 million, might not feel so alone tonight.

If was only that easy. eh?

To put yourself in someone else's shoes.

another reason i love state radio.


I work in the kitchen
At an old folk's home
I do my best but i too am getting on
I do the dishes but lately i been dropping plates
See as i get older my hands are starting to shake

So mr larkin
See i got to hold this job
Did you misspeak when you told me
She was all but gone
Mr larkin
Dock me my one week's pay
But don't ask me to leave
I can't afford that today

Ten years ago my wife took sick
So i brought her here
My job i quit
I started working for the home
So i could be by her everyday
We couldn't afford the cost in any other way
So

So mr larkin see i
I know she know who i am
Every now and then she'll squeeze my hand
It's what i live for it's why she don't die
So mr larkin won't you won't you give me this try

I walk to work on route 27
I see the same cars pass everyday
And through all this new england weather
You know never once have i been late

So mr larkin see i
I know she know who i am
Every now and then she'll squeeze my hand
It's what i live for it's why she don't die
So mr larkin won't you won't you give me this try

I see the argument you're makin'
And i understand you got to do your job
And believe me i know she's turning angel
But you see this woman is all I got

So mr larkin see i
I know she know who i am
Every now and then she'll squeeze my hand
It's what i live for it's why she don't die
So mr larkin won't you won't you give me this try
Won't you give me this try
Won't you give me this try

Generation Why?

Gen Y.
The follow up of Gen X.

Stay tuned for Generation What for? and where?

Mother Teresa... was a bitch.

Alright, so may be a bit of a rash statement considering the woman devoted her life to the poorest of the poor and is on the path to sainthood. Also may not be the exact words my grandmother used to describe her old friend and pen pal. However, when I was sitting at my grandmother’s bedside, in St. Michael’s hospital last month, I asked my gran what Mother Teresa was really like… my grandmother sat back in her bed, rolled her eyes and exhaled as though the very memory exhausted her… “ She was a very strong-willed woman, that one…”.

In our day in age, strong willed woman is often synonymous with bitch. Mother Teresa was a strong willed woman, she would not take no for an answer and she often bossed others around. My Grandmother went on to tell me about an instance where she, my 5 year-old mother and Mother Teresa were pouring powdered milk into old cigarette cartons for the slum children of Calcutta. Amidst the work, the sky opened up and typical monsoon weather started rolling through the streets. “ No No, She was not going to see that milk go to waste! No way.” My Grandmother laughed. Mother Teresa, without hesitation, marched up to the local officials of Calcutta and demanded that help be deployed to save the milk. My mother described the reaction of local officials as that of a bobble head; blank faced and nodding. She must have had a fire in her eyes, or the mayor’s family jewels in her grip, because within the hour all powdered milk was saved.

Wait… are we really talking about the same Mother Teresa? Can it be that the image of this selfless, poor, fragile old woman could actually be a forefront for the strength and fearlessness of a powerful and determined historical figure?... It threw me for a loop. But then again, to recall Rosa Parks whose stubborn will and dangerous public statement drove a movement towards equality. To think of Maude Barlow who is fighting for Canadian water resources and is quoted walking into a UN council meeting muttering “ nobody likes an alarm clock in action”. To listen to Ani Difranco whose small stature and beautiful physique says nothing to her lyrics of songs like “blood in the board room” and “ little plastic castle”. Then I remember why strength and coarse behavior are a tough skin so necessary for positive change. I remember that it is despite an image of grace that many of these woman have to move beyond polite social norms and expectations. It is a survival tactic, it is a necessary mental grip strength that holds these women to their passions and their projects. Yet somehow I still long to imagine them as quaint, lovely, well-mannered women who just so happened to change the way we see the world. no chance.

How else can you change the world?
You must be a leader, a delegator and sometimes you might be called a bitch.

More from my grandmother soon.

Love,
Lauren

speed. the movie.

Final Scene Transcript Quotation:

Jack: I have to warn you.
I've heard relationships...
...based on intense experiences never work.

Annie: OK,...
...we'll have to base it on sex, then.


Jack: Whatever you say, ma'am.