Mother Teresa... was a bitch.

Alright, so may be a bit of a rash statement considering the woman devoted her life to the poorest of the poor and is on the path to sainthood. Also may not be the exact words my grandmother used to describe her old friend and pen pal. However, when I was sitting at my grandmother’s bedside, in St. Michael’s hospital last month, I asked my gran what Mother Teresa was really like… my grandmother sat back in her bed, rolled her eyes and exhaled as though the very memory exhausted her… “ She was a very strong-willed woman, that one…”.

In our day in age, strong willed woman is often synonymous with bitch. Mother Teresa was a strong willed woman, she would not take no for an answer and she often bossed others around. My Grandmother went on to tell me about an instance where she, my 5 year-old mother and Mother Teresa were pouring powdered milk into old cigarette cartons for the slum children of Calcutta. Amidst the work, the sky opened up and typical monsoon weather started rolling through the streets. “ No No, She was not going to see that milk go to waste! No way.” My Grandmother laughed. Mother Teresa, without hesitation, marched up to the local officials of Calcutta and demanded that help be deployed to save the milk. My mother described the reaction of local officials as that of a bobble head; blank faced and nodding. She must have had a fire in her eyes, or the mayor’s family jewels in her grip, because within the hour all powdered milk was saved.

Wait… are we really talking about the same Mother Teresa? Can it be that the image of this selfless, poor, fragile old woman could actually be a forefront for the strength and fearlessness of a powerful and determined historical figure?... It threw me for a loop. But then again, to recall Rosa Parks whose stubborn will and dangerous public statement drove a movement towards equality. To think of Maude Barlow who is fighting for Canadian water resources and is quoted walking into a UN council meeting muttering “ nobody likes an alarm clock in action”. To listen to Ani Difranco whose small stature and beautiful physique says nothing to her lyrics of songs like “blood in the board room” and “ little plastic castle”. Then I remember why strength and coarse behavior are a tough skin so necessary for positive change. I remember that it is despite an image of grace that many of these woman have to move beyond polite social norms and expectations. It is a survival tactic, it is a necessary mental grip strength that holds these women to their passions and their projects. Yet somehow I still long to imagine them as quaint, lovely, well-mannered women who just so happened to change the way we see the world. no chance.

How else can you change the world?
You must be a leader, a delegator and sometimes you might be called a bitch.

More from my grandmother soon.

Love,
Lauren