Dreams have been weave-y lately.
I don't know the last time I has such vivid adventures in my own head but lately it has been getting out of control. It began a few days ago, I was jolted awake almost hourly by unconscious tripping and falling from heights. Being a climber, this concerns me as to how my unconscious mind is absorbing my conscious pursuits.
It will be sudden, and I often wont remember the dream that proceeds the fall, but without warning I will be sitting up in my bed with a bad case of vertigo.
Zooming out, I am in my parents house, in Toronto, fields of concrete and flat land surrounding me.
I suppose that is why I climb, to control that fear of falling. There has often been the debate of whether climbers and other extreme sports addicts are fearless, or just as fearful as anyone else. The difference in my mind is that we are trying to control our fears. Harness them and develop techniques for keeping our minds cool under pressure.
I remember reading an article in the globe last year, it was about a woman who was born without fear. She was 44 years old and never had that instinctual sense not to get in a fight and not to jump off a cliff. When first reading, I could only assume this woman would be a classically fantastic climber.
But wait? Why would she even want to climb?
Such an integral battle for every athlete is their dialogue with fear. Without that, she would not last long, nor would she get the blood rushing feeling of success when topping out, hitting the anchors or standing in the wind above a mammoth cliff edge.
Maybe fear is a good thing.
Only when it allows for a full night's sleep though.
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